I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
