i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
