Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
