Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
BRING THE BAGELS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
