are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
