the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
