Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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