Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
