those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
