i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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