You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
