The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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