He kissed a someone with a penis
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
