can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
