...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
