absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
