Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
