I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
