just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
