Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
