Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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