Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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