FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
