hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
