Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
