I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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