hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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