I want to have your abortion
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
