He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
