Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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