apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
