I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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