i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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