she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
