I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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