I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
