everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
