what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
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