The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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