Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
