Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Boobs are out for the taking
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
