be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
