Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
