what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
