there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
porn star boner night. come get it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
