just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
