just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
