CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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