Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
