I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
