do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
